[digital insanity]

12.20.2004

To me... you're strange and your beautiful....

...you'll be so perfect with me but you just cant see...

Oh my god... what a ride I have been through in the last couple of weeks. Well... lets see, since my last actual post, I have made friends, lost friends, fell apart, and put back together. Ok, let me st art off by saying school isn't going well, mainly because of all the calsses im taking... 7 calsses is to much. Damn journolism is what has been fucking me up. too much is asked in that class, to the point where i fell behind in every class. Other than that one side note my personal life really hasn't changed all that much... eat sleep school work I guess... emotionally though, it has been rough.. I really truly think that no one is out there for me... I am giving up on Jess... too many bad BAD habits. She knows what I am talkinga bout and I really dont want to list them all. After observing what true love is, it isn't physical attraction, but mental attraction. And that is the problem with most high school students, i am realizing. my self included. it isn't about looks at all, it is if you can talk with a person for an extended amount of time about absolutly nothing, or philisophical values... if I can find just one girl, who is like that, I will be happy as ever, but that process of finding someone like that is a long one. Any girl that I attempt to talk to looks at me and thinks I am a lazy computer geek with ZERO social skills and refuzes to listen to other people's feelings and emotions... when I am the exact opposite, i Listen to everyone, especally when they are going through some rough times... Today, Maria and Amanda broke ties, with no suprize... There was too much drama between the two and I really do think amanda was the one who had no resistance. As I am sitting here, listening to the chillout sessions, I am very lax, just like at school, but no one can be that way, ever. it seems to be too hard for even the smartest of people to see. you are happier when you are lax. I have grown to known that, and it bothers teachers because they dont think I can get anything done... but thats ok with me, at least im semienjoying my self as I learn pointless facts. If you really want my opinion of matters that are happening with in the school, or for that matter general advice for the World... every day, give yourself at least and hour to just sit back, but relaxing music on, and reflect. whether it be befor you go to sleep, or channeling your thoughts into a journal or a blog like this one. if you really want my opinion, I would like to be with maria, but thats because I know I can talk with her about pretty much anything, and she knows that she can come to me with her problems. but thats just me. Oh yeah, me and josh are putting together an album, we have beem using SONY ACID to create tracks... hopefully he can bring over all of his material tomorrow so we can create our cd... Well, it is 11:00 and I need to sleep for tomorrow... I wish everyone reading this a Merry Christmas and Happy new year... see you in 2k5!!!

PEACE!!! DiZZY!

\ /O_o \ /
posted by DiZZY at 22:39

4 Comments:

You'll find that "special someone". Yes it will take time, and it may be a hard road. But there are girls out there who will equally enjoy values and philosophy.

And to answer your last coment, yes one of my friends is in the hospital because of "attempted suicide", although I’d have to disagree with his actions. And yes I do agree Im a confusing person.
Blogger killed-by-paranoia, at 20.12.04  
Hey Jake, i actually understand what u mean, and beleive things will work out for you. I'll Bring the music over tomorrow. Peace
Blogger Oblivious, at 21.12.04  
now THEREZ the bigg update we've all been expecting from Jacob.. yes Jake you shall find someone. Listen to your heart :-)heart beats *boom boom* *boom boom* heart beats I will see you in school, but not tomorrow cuz of Bobby's funeral :-( C ya around... :-) g'night
Blogger StenZiL, at 21.12.04  
HEY! you can read it with the red text...
Blogger DiZZY, at 23.12.04  

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